Valentine's Day Desktop Calendars For You!

The last couple of weeks have not been my favorite 2 weeks of my life.  I can think of many other 2 week spans that were way more fun than the last two.  My vacation to Disneyworld; High School Graduation; Wedding and Honeymoon.  Got the stupid cold that's been goin' around.  It's just an annoying cough that makes my abdomen workout--and she doesn't want to.

But, today is Valentine's Day!  Yippee.  I love any sort of Holiday there is to celebrate and share fun and/or love.  I especially love holidays that include receiving gifts (what woman doesn't?)  I am excited to go on a date with my wonderful husband.  He's getting better every year at Valentine's Day, My Birthday, and Anniversary.  I've pretty much kept telling him things he can do and warn him not to make past mistakes because the rule in our house is "If Momma Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy."  He tells this to the dogs all the time because if I'm mad at him, he feels he can pass the blame on down the line.  So, in order to help him not make past mistakes, like I said, I keep giving him reminders and hints.  I also keep an updated wishlist on Amazon.com so there is no "I didn't know what to get you" excuses.

And just as an aside (my personal opinion), I feel that those people who say stuff like, "I think Valentine's Day is a manufactured holiday just so the companies can sell a bunch of crap at an inflated price so women won't get mad", are a bunch miserable souls.  They say, "I don't need a manufactured holiday to give my baby flowers or candy and tell her I love her.  I can do that any day of the year."  However, it has seemed to me in the past that those who proffer such wisdom, are rarely the ones who abide by it.  They're all talk and no action.  Wouldn't you agree?

And another random thought, I DO however feel for the single or lonely on Valentine's Day who WISH they had a Valentine of their own to shower affection and gifts upon.  Their lack of enjoyment of Valentine's Day is more acceptable than the previous type of pessimists as noted above.  You're either Stingy-Hearted (yes, that is a real word--a cheryl word anyway) or your not.  The question is not whether you have a Valentine to love, but rather that IF you had a Valentine, how would you love?  I was single on pretty much every Valentines Day of my life up until I met Lloyd (had a couple of good ones with my ex-fiance, although for some strange reason he thought it appropriate to get me "Happy Secretaries Day" orange balloons to go with the roses he brought.  It still makes me laugh when I remember.  I longed for a Valentine, but just didn't have one.  I did however, send Valentines to other people (friends and family) that I love.  I don't care if it's a day marked on the calendar that reminds you to let the ones you love know how much you care for them.  Is it ever a bad day to do that?

Oh, but I've strayed.  How very unlike me.  (yes, sarcasm implied).  Back to the Amazon Wishlist.  Did you know that you can add things to your Amazon Wishlist that aren't necessarily sold by Amazon?  Yeah, it's great.  I've been doing it for a couple of years now.  It's called a Universal Wishlist and you can get it by clicking here.  You have to have already set up a regular Amazon Wishlist (it's free), but once you have, you can add the Universal Wishlist Button to your browser menu.  Next time you're enjoying your shopping on Etsy.com, you can save an item to your Amazon Wishlist by clicking on the Universal Wishlist Button.  Viola! It adds it to your wishlist account.  I love modern technology!

So I'm so excited because my honey is coming home soon and he's already planned (made reservations even) for a date!  Wow!  He is getting so good at this.  I wasn't even supposed to be writing such a long blog post because I need to get my "outside face" on.  But, in all my zest for Valentine's Day, I thought of giving you, my reader, something as a token of my appreciation for following me and commenting to me, and sharing with me.

Okay, so without further adieu, I love you blogland peeps, family, friends.  I appreciate your support.  Happy Valentine's Day!  (See next separate post for my small gift to you.)

I Live and Love With My Whole Heart -- And It's Okay!

I had a great conversation with my husband, Lloyd, this evening.  Lloyd is one of the most loving and generous men I've ever known.  I'm so thankful to be married to him and love him deeply.  I feel like he's my greatest blessing from a Heavenly Father who loves me.  That being said, it doesn't mean that we never struggle. Face it, if you're married to a man, there WILL be struggles at times.  No sexism intended.  Well, okay, maybe just a little...  Men and women, as we all know, are just "wired" differently.  In general, men are not the "communicators" that women seem inherently born to be.

Sometimes I get frustrated with Lloyd because he keeps a lot inside.  A third of that is that he's an introvert by nature.  Another 33% of it is that he is an only child and the majority of his "conversations" in life are between the characters in the books he reads.  The remaining half is that he's just a man--a man who believes it is his sacred duty to "protect" his wife from all hardship and pain.  So, inevitably, he doesn't communicate to me the way I would like him to and that results in frustration and my feelings getting hurt at times.  Now, if you know me at all, you know I'm a sensitive soul.  It isn't necessarily the hardest thing in the world to wound me emotionally.  I own that.  (Don't, however, label me as "moody" because I view that as a negative word tactless people throw out to absolve themselves of wrongdoing rather than seeking forgiveness for their lack of sensitivity.)  However, the good thing about me is that I am a communicator.  If my feelings are injured, and I care enough about the other person to even bother, I will tell him what I'm feeling and we can talk things out.  Another good thing about me is that I'm very empathetic and I don't hold grudges very well.  Once I start talking with said person, I usually come to understand why he said X thing and my empathy kicks in until I'm no longer hurt.  I now UNDERSTAND and that's usually all it takes (although, admittedly, a sincere apology always helps speed the enlightenment and healing.)

Over the last couple of days Lloyd and I have had a few "misunderstandings".  A large part of it is probably due to my having cabin fever (couped up inside due to icy roads and poor weather conditions).  Another part is likely a result of the pressure of his job right now.  Tonight came the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" , but thankfully we were able to take some time to sit down and talk things out.

I'm so blessed to have a husband who cares about communication.  Lloyd was married before.  He explains that he and his former wife had very poor communication and that was part of their marital problems.  He vowed that if he ever fell in love again, before deciding to remarry, he would be sure that the object of his affection would be a good communicator.  He knew he wasn't inherently the best at communicating, but recognized the importance of it in relationships, especially marriage.  During our whirlwind courtship (we met and were married within the course of 8 months--and would've married sooner had it been possible), situations arose that were challenging.  He said he knew he loved me the first time one such situation arose and we worked through it together honestly and openly.  We're on our 7th year of marriage now and we still try to always maintain that standard in resolving conflicts or other challenges.  We're not perfect, but we try.

I intermittently follow a psychologist online, Dr. Brene Brown, PhD.  I have a couple of her books and the things she talks about really make sense to me.  The quote of the week on her blog is by C.S. Lewis and couldn't be more applicable to what I am feeling this weekend in my relationship with my husband.  It is equally valuable for me to remember in all of life's relationships.

I grew up in a family where I felt that being openly loving, vulnerable, and honest were wrong.  When I was being myself, inevitably, it caused problems.  Ergo, throughout the course of my adult life, I've tried unsuccessfully over and over to close my heart so it wouldn't get hurt. But, because of who I was born to be, I've yet to be fully able to accomplish the task.

Morgan Weistling - The Promise

Now, I'm trying to learn that for me, success is about being vulnerable--about loving fully and freely, in spite of the pain that inevitably accompanies such love.  It hurts so much at times and I cry bigger crocodile tears than anyone I know.  But, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that this is a good thing.  It's good to be who I am.  Being "sensitive" is ok.  It's better than ok.  Being sensitive and vulnerable, in my mind anyway, means that I'm attempting to be more Christlike.  We know from The Bible that Christ was perfect in his love for others (John 15:3).  We also know from the book of Isaiah, that he has felt our pain and borne our sorrows (Isaiah 53:4).   If we are to emulate Christ and live his example, then shouldn't we, too, be willing to open our hearts, even if it means that at times we will experience pain by so doing?  I think it does.

Hand in Hand - Greg Olsen

When feelings are hurt or I feel alone or unloved, I'm going to try to remember that this is okay.  It's part of being a loving and vulnerable being--even part of trying to follow the Savior's example.  I shouldn't fear the pain that inexorably will at times accompany being a loving and vulnerable person.  Perfect love casteth out fear (1 John 4:18).  If I continue to try to live openly with my whole heart , then my fear of being hurt should diminish.  Sadness and sorrow should turn to joy.  Who wants their heart in a casket anyway?

I believe

Came across this song by ERA called "I Believe".  It is one of the most moving pieces I've come across in a long time --and music moves me often.  I had to share.  Close your eyes and just listen and feel.  This is the kind of beautiful that gives meaning to life.

Good Friends

Tonight I had a few girlfriends over to play games.  It was just a small group of us, but I had the most wonderful time.  You know how good it feels when you are around honest, open, and good people?  It makes you just almost giddy inside to connect with others who "get" you.  I'm soooooo thankful for the many friends Heavenly Father has blessed me with in my life, and hope to always continue cultivating those and new friendships.

Similarly, last weekend a group of 8 of us went on a retreat to Tyler Texas' Memory Lane Inn.  The Inn is an old early 1900 house that has been completely renovated inside.  It was GORGEOUS and comfortable.  We had such a wonderful time together.  We may not have gotten as much crafting done as we would have liked, but it's all about the camaraderie, right?  My recently published friend (can you tell how proud of her I am?), Alisa Noble was my suite mate (she's so easy to stay over with--no snoring, not an overly light sleeper.)  Also part of our awesome group were Marie Jenkins (an amazing talented lady who knows a lot about living); Cami Dilsaver (a strong, independent woman with a heart the size of Texas...and then some);  Liesl Milford (a Louisiana-bred hoot and a holler all rolled up into one funny gal) Dana Suza (truly and ARTIST--she sees life through an amazing pair of eyes), and Shannon Martinson (Pink Fish Designs jewelry crafter).  Most of these gals are friends I met just from being involved in various art groups and projects in the area.  I am always in awe of the creative talent that surrounds me.  I even get envious at times--but then I have to remember we all have different talents.  I, for example, have excellent penmanship.

But the best part of the retreat wasn't just being there for 3 days devoted wholly to creating, although that in itself is pretty noteworthy.  The amazing stories I heard from these women's lives filled me with such gratitude and admiration.  As I listened to one lady recount the horror of her son being burned by a car explosion in a mechanic shop (and the months and months of pain and hardship they went through afterward),  I felt such a love for this woman.  The things she'd gone through had been really really hard, but she was so gracious and strong in sharing.  I admire the strength she's gained from going through this, and other difficult life challenges.  I also felt my heart fill with compassion as I listened to another woman recount a part of her life when her children were very young.  Her husband, unfortunately, chose to take his own life, leaving behind a family with no form of support.  It wasn't enough that she had to fight through the grief, sorrow, and even anger of the situation.  On top of that, she was then faced with the realization that she was the SOLE provider for these young babes.  I listened to her stories of the multiple jobs she took on, just to provide food and shelter for the children--going down the way, pulling her kids in a wagon, trying to sell dried flowers.  At one point, even her own brother-in-law and his wife tried to come and "help" her by offering to take her newborn baby off her hands.  Can you imagine?  She clung tightly to those little ones and never slept more than a few hours a night, making sure she did everything in her power to keep them safe and well.  When I see a woman overcome such hardship and not only survive, but come out victorious, I am filled with the deepest feelings of respect and kinship for her.  It makes me feel better as a woman, to know there are others out there who have difficult life problems, but are overcoming them beautifully.  It's as if they're saying, "We're all in this together, Honey."

To See My Creation in a Larger Format, Please Click Here

As I'm going along in my life trying to overcome problems new and old, it's such a boost to my spirit to be with other women who are facing their own challenges--but are succeeding.  I'm thankful to those who open their hearts up wide enough for me to have a peek inside and share with them.  That is such a privilege.

Thankfully Sick

It's October, which means the beginnings of campaign commercials and radio spots.  Every candidate wants us to vote for him because he's going to make a difference...  And so it goes until November 2nd, when the lots are cast and the winners are chosen.

In the United States of America, we're free to choose our elected government.  We have the opportunity to openly express our opinions regarding "the issues".   This is a wonderful luxury that most people in the world will never experience.  We all have our beliefs, what choices we think are important when it comes to voting.  I have mine, too.

But today, I don't want to talk about my political viewpoints.  I just want to stop and take a moment to express my gratitude for a wonderful Heavenly Father who has given me the blessing of living in this great country.  America is not perfect; she is an ever-changing work in progress.  But, she is still the most beautiful nation in all the world.  Hoards of people have risked, and continue to risk, their very lives in attempting to set foot upon her soil.  Why?  Because, even with all our problems, the United States still offers every man, woman, and child OPPORTUNITY.  The Great American Dream.  Part of this dream is health care.

Health care is a huge topic on the forefront of our minds, as our current President and other leaders are working to drastically change the health care system in the U.S.  Whether or not I agree with what is being done is not the issue for me today.  Today, I am just thankful that I got the health care that I needed.

I was exhibiting symptoms of having quite a serious infection (which I have experienced in the past).  The same day I decided to see a doctor, I was able to check myself in online (to avoid waiting at the doctor's office), drive less than 2 miles to the clinic, be examined and treated all within the course of 2 hours.   Wow.  Is that not amazing?

Sometimes I catch myself grumbling about some of the laws and policy changes.  I talk about how our government needs to  do this or change that.  But, as I was driving home from work today, no doubt prompted by one of those aforementioned radio spots, I couldn't help but feel gratitude for what I have been given.  I can't begin to understand the pain and poverty that so many other of God's beautiful children experience in the world.  Though by no means rich, I can't remember a single time in my life when some form of healthcare wasn't available to me when I needed it.  Even today, the homeless and penniless in the U.S. can walk into any emergency room and be served.  That is AMAZING.  I seem to take so much for granted.  Having lived in a "bubble" most of my life (I've not traveled much outside the contiguous United States), I have no real concept of what pain and suffering others have experienced.  I couldn't possibly understand how blessed I have been, unless I were to have lived and died as they have lived and died.

I am thankful, though.  I am so thankful.  My antibiotics, though somewhat nauseating, will certainly take away my maladies, leaving me healthy and happy in a matter of just a few short days.  To those living in 3rd world countries, where even clean drinking water is scarce, to experience this would be nothing short of miraculous.  

I don't know why I have been blessed to live in this nation, while so many others have not.  Certainly, I am no more loved than any of God's children.  Neither do I understand why I've been given such bounty, while my brothers and sisters throughout the world are trying to just SURVIVE.  I don't think I'll ever understand it.  The very least I can do, however, is take a small moment to express my humble gratitude; to remember what it really means to live in the United States of America.